When it first started, they put me back in this isolated area full of beds, away from the others. I never bothered to wonder why. There was only one other person back there. She looked sleepy and had blankets wrapped around her. Why was she so cold?
When the drugs hit me the first time, my heart started racing so I asked the nurse to turn the IV off for a few minutes. When it resumed, the only way to describe the effect of the drugs is to think about sinking in a pool of black water. And you got real cold. And nauseated.
Looking at the photo above literally makes me cringe. It was taken during the middle of six rounds of chemotherapy I had to take to fight stage IV cancer (lymphoma). I look like a ghost.
I lost all my hair (including eyebrows, eyelashes), had no energy and really didn’t know if I would live or die. There was no part of me that wasn’t affected by those powerful drugs, which saved my life.
I’m no exception as far as going through tough times – thousands upon thousands take chemotherapy, go through divorce or other struggles.
But as a Christian, I knew I had someone in my corner, by my side, who would always be with me even if I died.
Yet I felt I had wasted many years of my life not living and achieving what God wants me to. I won’t let that happen again.When the drugs worked and the cancer stopped, I had a renewed purpose.
As a Christian, we have God’s power to help us through any tough time, crisis or suffering. Saturday, I’ll share my story at a homeless shelter, and I hope God can make use of my pain for someone else’s gain.
Today, I’m still in remission – God helped me so I can help others, which is what The Bible says. I’m sure there are plenty of men at this shelter who feel like they are sinking in a pool of the black water of addiction, loneliness and fear. They need help just like those fighting cancer.
I’ve got a God-sized rope for them. I hope they’ll reach out and take it.