I’ll be dead in three days? (One Christian’s Dream)

I had a dream. Not that dream. Another kind of dream.

Recently, I had a dream that a snake bit me. I looked down and I could see the fang marks on my foot. In my dream, I went to see a doctor and showed her the bite. “You will die in three days,” the doctor told me.

I woke up and that kind of freaked me out!

snake

I rarely remember any of my dreams. Usually, if I wake up in the middle of the night, I remember a dream but after I go back to sleep, I can’t remember anything about it when I wake up for the day. But I did remember this part of this particular dream.

Of course, the first thing you would say is that we can all die any day but we don’t ever think about dying. I bet 99% of people never think about death as they go about their lives.

But I do.

When I came out of remission last year – only eight months after chemotherapy – I was shocked that the cancer could come back so fast. It was then that I realized that I could die at any time.

So when I had this dream, I have to admit that it bothered me some. I know that God speaks to people through dreams.

Joseph was the most famous dreamer and dream interpreter in the Bible. In the New Testament, God spoke to another Joseph (Jesus’ father) to tell him to take Mary as his wife. There are more example of God revealing himself or certain messages in dreams.

I don’t believe that God speaks to me through dreams because he never has before. I rarely remember dreams and they are usually meaningless and have no big message  behind them.

But knowing that God does use dreams to speak to people, that dream  of the snake did stick in my mind the next three days!

If you don’t really believe in God, you can get hung up on dream interpretation, and there’s no shortage of people that could offer their opinions. Psychology has spent a lot of time on dream study. You better tread carefully if you think others can tell you what your dream means.

Today is day five so my dream did not come true – thank God! On day three, I started thinking this was nonsense and got back to faith, which is really what it’s all about.

How about you? Do you have a lot of dreams and do they tell you things about your life?


Switchfoot, Twitter and a Christian Dark Horse

A simple thought on Twitter turned into dozens of high fives for me yesterday. Let me explain:

As a stage IV cancer survivor, only a year out from remission, some days I wake up thinking the cancer is coming back. Maybe I don’t feel particularly good that day. Maybe it’s just paranoia! Or maybe I’m right. Who knows?

Music always motivates me so I started listening to Switchfoot and their new single “Dark Horses.” Those lyrics spoke to me:

I’ve made my mistakes
I’ve seen my heart cave in
I’ve got my scars
I’ve been to hell and back again
Born for the blue skies
We’ll survive the rain
Born for the sunrise
We’ll survive the pain

Switchfoot’s songs have lifted me up so much in my two year cancer fight that I had to send a message to them on Twitter (complete with spelling error!):

In a matter of minutes, @Switchfoot retweeted my tweet and others started responding, like this:

Twitter screen capture

It caught me off guard. I guess sometimes we think we are facing our struggles alone but we’re not. I should have realized that from thinking back on how many people have helped me out in the  last two years.

But it’s good to get that reminder. It’s good to have hope.

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A Short Message on God

sun in the clouds

God …

… is not too small to solve any problem you have.

… is greater than you could ever imagine.

… is always there for you.

… has told his story in a book called The Bible.

… doesn’t like sin.

… is a jealous God.

… knows right from wrong.

… knows your deepest thoughts.

… knows what you do every day when no one is around.

… likes to help people.

… doesn’t want you to hurt.

… sent Jesus so you could understand what he is like.

… made people so he understands us.

… sent Jesus to die for your sins.

… will not be mocked.

… is waiting for you to knock, then the door shall be open.

… has a plan.

… doesn’t like bad things to happen.

… created everything you can see.

… God loves you.


A Christian’s guide to hope despite divorce, cancer, death and more

You can make it through this. You need to know that. Will it be easy? No.

But you can make it. It’s not about false hope. Not everyone makes it through. But whatever you’re dealing with, you need to know that you can make it through the stuggle you’re facing.

Are you afraid?

I sure was during my ordeal. Twice, actually. Once when I was diagnosed with cancer and another time when I came out of remission only eight months after being declared cancer free.

But exactly what are you afraid of? That’s what I had to think about.

Losing something?

But the most important thing – your relationship with God – is something you’ll never lose. All you have to do is stick with God every single day. Prayer and reading the Bible regularly is easier than you think, and you’ll have someone who will always be with you. Always.

Dying?

Let’s be honest: Everyone will die. That’s reality. Personally, I have a hope beyond death.

So you know everyone dies but you don’t want to die now.

I understand because that’s exactly what I think every day. I’m 46 years old with three children 10 years and younger. I’m not entirely cancer free yet.

I want to see them become teenagers. I want to watch them smile when they catch fish. I want to hear them call me Dad more. But even that’s not forever should I live to be 100!

In the middle of chemotherapy two years ago, I walked into their rooms while they slept and realized that some day, I will leave them or they will leave me. Regardless of cancer. And that’s okay.

So I moved on. I loved them more. I listened as they talked about how big the trees are. I showed them how to build forts out of blankets. I watched them catch fireflies.

You see – you can make it through this. Even though death is a reality. Even though pain is a reality. You still have this moment. You still have RIGHT NOW.

Are you afraid of pain?

I understand. I’ve had more than 50 IVs in my arms. I’ve had surgeries. I’ve had chemotherapy. And I’ve had kidney stones as a result of the chemo.

But even pain doesn’t last forever. Pain will end.

You see, you can make it. You can get over the fear of death. You can get over the fear of pain. Because hope is inside you. You know it is.

You have that hope when the doctor comes in the room to give you a report. You hope for what you know is possible. You have hope when things actually go right for a change. You have hope on the good days.

I say have hope every day. Nothing last forever. Cancer doesn’t last forever. Pain doesn’t last forever. So have hope. Choose hope. Cause you can make it.

I know. I made it through cancer to come back and tell you that you can make it.


Me and Andy Whitfield

Andy Whitfield

We are close in age. Both men. Both fighting the same enemy.

He was famous for portraying Spartacus, a solider condemned to fight as a gladiator. We both fight the same opponent in real life: cancer (non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma). He lost. I’m still in the ring.

Lots of news yesterday on the death of actor Andy Whitfield. I had never heard of him until reading the news stories. As a stage IV cancer survivor, when I read of someone dying of the same cancer I have, it jars me awake.

Andy Whitfield was diagnosed in the spring of last year. I was diagnosed in the spring of 2009. He came out of remission only two months after being declared cancer free. I came out of remission only eight months after being declared cancer free.

After surgery, I remain in remission 29 months after my diagnosis. Andy Whitfield made it only 18 months after diagnosis.

I live my life as a dead man walking. I know this cancer is still inside me. I fight it with all I have, through further treatments, eating right, exercising and managing stress.

But I have hope. It’s not just about living longer. It really comes down to my faith in God.

God says the hairs on my head are numbered. Still, I get a small wave of fear when I read how fast the cancer I have can overtake me. But, I soon get over it. I’ve been living with death for two years now.

God will keep me alive according to his perfect plan. In an amazing story in the Bible, Hezekiah was told that his number was up. He would die.

But he prayed that God would keep him alive. And God gave him 15 more years.

I read that story while undergoing chemotherapy in 2009 and it gives me hope. Hope that I can pray to live longer and maybe influence YOU. You who are reading this. Maybe you will realize that we all will die some day.

You have to make a choice now. Do you believe in God? Are you ready to face God when you die? Jesus offers a great choice: you may die but you can have eternal life. You will live forever.

I challenge you to buy a Bible today and read it. You might be surprised at what you find. That’s my challenge from this dead man walking!

(You can subscribe to get updates on new blog posts here. You can contact me here. Thanks for reading!)

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